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Handfasting for
Modern Couples
By Wenona
Napolitano
If you are having a Celtic, Renaissance, or medieval theme
wedding Handfasting is a great ritual to add to your traditional ceremony and
vows. Handfasting was traditionally a simple ceremony where the bride and groom
faced each other and joined right hand to right hand and left hand to left hand
and were bound by a ceremonial wrap or rope. The expression of “tying the knot”
came from this early Celtic marriage ritual. Later Irish, Scots, and the Welsh also
adopted this ritual. Though Pagan in origin the symbolism of this ritual was so
expressive it even found its way into the liturgy of some factions of
Catholicism practiced in Britain after the rise of Christianity.
There are many variations on Handfasting ceremonies. Some
use a single silk cord or a family clan tartan. One variation is a very
detailed six corded ceremony which I will give an example of. Another variation
is at the end of the ceremony the couple hold hands and jump over a branch or
broom into their new life together.
You can work this ritual into your traditional wedding as
long as you have an Officiate that is open to performing a handfasting or you
can have a separate officiate to perform just that part of your wedding.
Depending on what else you are including in your wedding ceremony you will want
to find a good place to include the handfasting so everything flows smoothly. I
think it best to start out with the handfasting or end with it. Ending with the
handfasting is great especially if you are going to be jumping over the broom
or branch together. Just take into mind jumping might be awkward if you have a
very full or long dress. The last thing you want to do is fall on your face at
your wedding. Finding someone to perform your wedding that is
experienced with handfasting rituals is a great help. They can coordinate all
aspects of your wedding to flow smoothly.
Here is one variation of a Handfasting ritual. This was the
ritual my Officiate offered to perform at my wedding. This is a six cord
ritual. You will need six cords. Silk is a good option. You can purchase
cording from any sewing supply store. It usual comes on a roll and you can
purchase it by the yard. The cords should be at least 2 feet long a piece.
The Officiate will start with:
Know now that since your lives have crossed, you have
formed ties between each other. The promises you make today and the ties that
are bound here will cross the years and greatly strengthen your union. With
full awareness, know that you declare your intent to be handfasted before your
friends and families.
The Officiate asks the bride and groom:
Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?
The bride and groom answer:
“Yes, we seek to enter”
The Officiate to the bride and groom:
I bid you look into one another’s eyes and hands the
cords to the best man to hold onto to.
(When the Officiate speaks to the bride and groom, their
names are to be substituted for bride and groom, for example instead of Bride,
will you… it will be say, Amanda, will you…)
Bride, will you honor him? “I will”
Groom, will you honor her? “I will”
Groom and Bride, will you seek never to give cause to
break that honor? “Yes”
And so the binding is made. Join your hands. (The first
cord is draped across the hands)
Bride, will you share his dreams? “I will”
Groom, will you share her dreams? “I will”
Groom and Bride, will you dream together to create new
realities and hopes? “Yes”
And so the binding is made. (Second cord is draped across
hands)
Bride, will you share his laughter? “I will”
Groom, will you share her laughter? “I will”
Groom and Bride, will both of you look for the brightness
in life and the positive in each other? “Yes”
And so the binding is made. (Third cord draped across
hands)
Bride, might you ever burden him? “I might” Is that your
intent? “No”
Groom, might you ever burden her? “I might” Is that your
intent? “No”
Groom and Bride, will you share the burdens of each so
that your spirits may grow in this union? “Yes”
And so the binding is made. (Fourth cord is draped across
the hands)
Bride, might you ever cause him pain? “I might” Is that
your intent? “No”
Groom, might you ever cause her pain? “I might” Is that
your intent? “No”
Groom and Bride, will you both share each other’s pain
and seek to ease it? “Yes”
And so the binding is made. (Fifth cord draped across the
hands)
Bride, might you ever cause him anger? “I might” Is that
your intent? “No”
Groom, might you ever cause her anger? “I might” Is that
your intent? “No”
Groom and bride, will you together take the heat of anger
and use it to temper the strength of this union? “Yes”
And so the binding is made. (Sixth cord is draped across
the hands)
The officiate hands the ceremonial book to the best man
then ties the cords together and states:
The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords,
but rather by your vows. For always, you hold in your own hands the making or
breaking of this union.
The cords are then removed and placed on the altar. The
best man gives the ceremonial book back to officiate.
This ritual can be customized to fit your needs and desires.
It’s your wedding. You can even use this example and rewrite the vows to what
you want them to say. I liked this particular example because it is honest and
real. Might you cause pain? Yeah, it happens whether we mean it or not. It’s
how you handle it afterward. It just seemed very true and fit my husband and me
perfectly.
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